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Creature Double Feature Transcript
(a visual summary plays showing clips from Insects) (intro plays) (at the Farghaton Mansion. Randall and Damien are in Julie's room.) Damien: Dibs on the posters. Randall: Oh yeah? Dibs on the music collection. Damien: Aw man, I'll trade ya. Randall: Forget it, these CDs could fit better than some ugly pieces of paper. Alison: What're you doing!? Randall: Determining who gets Julie's stuff. Since me and Damien called it, we get first dibs. Alison: Julie isn't dead you guys. Damien: Come on, she turned into some gothic hulk, she's not dead but she ain't here. Alison: Have faith you guys. If Julie's a sure-goner, we would never have Becky. Becky: Well to be fair I would defect even if I couldn't become human again. Alison: ...Shouldn't you be eating out of the garbage? Jenny: Guys! See the news quick! (the kids go to watch the news. They see a report on Julie and Emily.) Reporter: Has the world's greatest monster movie come to life? Recent events point to a strong heck yeah. It's the above average hulk versus the Lizard's daughter. Alison: Please don't bring in the military, please don't bring in the military. Reporter: Studies show that the creatures have been ignoring civilians, instead focusing on killing one another. All breeds of law enforcement have chose to ignore this, leaving the creatures to kill one another. Alison: Phew. Reporter: Now- Oh, I'm getting an update. A third creature has been discovered by the cliffside, and has been connected to the influx of murders at local farms. Local farmhand Manfred Manly Manson has made this statement. Manfred: I'd like this 'll creature better if'n left some more of the carcass. (the TV shuts off) Phoebe: Becky? Were you sleep-slaughtering again? Becky: No, at least not until you let me out of the basement at night. Alison: Ok, on the upside Julie and Emily aren't in total danger. Colleen: And the downside? Alison: It's a matter of whether or not we could get them here alive, and preferably not have them kill each other, let alone us. Oh, and there's that other monster. Marie: That's where me and Becky come in. Colleen: Say what? Marie: I might not have Julie's strength, though I could be wrong and obviously much stronger than her, but I have more brains than her. Becky: And since I'm lighter, I could get 'em with my speed. Just say the word and like a plague in a rat's fur we'll be off. Alison: If you go you'll both surely be off forever. Marie: Come on, you've got your own personal brickhouse and a day-walking werewolf at your disposal. If you were a dude we'd be peed. Alison: I just don't want anyone to die over this. We'll think of something tomorrow. Angela: What? But it's not even noon. Alison: Yeah well it's not getting any lighter out. (at night, the kids are sleeping and something breaks into the house. Marie and Becky power up and set out to find out what it is) Marie: You're lucky we're in a kids cartoon, otherwise we'd go- Oh heck. (they see that a chimera has broken into the house. Both fight it but the chimera is faster and stronger than them.) Becky: Let's run and keep that with us 'till death (both run to their rooms, but the dark hallways lead them to Julie's room. The chimera breaks in and Marie and Becky back to a corner. Becky holds up a CD.) Becky: The power of, er, ciger ross? Sugar rose? Some Icelandic band compels you! (the chimera grabs the CD and looks at it. A tear escapes its eye and it collapses. The other kids go in.) Georgina: Did you get the perp? Marie: Perp? Try monster. It was no issue for us, but for you guys... Colleen: So a typical day on the job then? Alison: And that has to be the most human monster I've ever seen. (a close look reveals that the chimera is a human girl.) (the kids strap the girl onto a table and Marie and Becky approach her. The girl slowly opens her eyes.) Marie: Let me make this clear. You're not stronger than me. Girl: Hmm? Becky: And you're not faster than me. Girl: So you're the brickhouse and wolf girl the press buzzed about? Marie: Don't you sweet-talk us. Girl: So analogies are sweet-talking? Marie: ...Touche. (the other kids come in.) Alison: Guys, we don't need to make more enemies. You'll have to excuse Marie and Becky, they tend to get jealous when someone overpowers them. Marie: Hey, that never happened, and you could quote me on that. Girl: I didn't hurt anyone? Did I? Becky: If it hadn't been for us totally beating you you- Girl: CAN YOU SHUT UP NOW!? Becky: I'm done. Alison: Nope, not a single casualty. Girl: Then why do I taste flesh? Colleen: I take it you're behind the cow slaughter? Girl: I killed cows? That explains the smell. Anyway, I'm Stephanie, but you could call me Stephy. Alison: I'm Alison, and we're the Halloween Kids. I'm too lazy to refer to everyone individually, so we'll get to that another time. Stephy: Fine by me. I heard about you guys in the news and I wanted to find you, especially since my cousin is in this group. Alison: No kidding? Stephy: Yeah, Julie. I come from her stepdad's side. She's the only one on my new side of the family that I could hold a conversation with. Until last Summer. Alison: You changed? Stephy: I fell at the cliffside and a shaman brought me back to life- Colleen: At a price? Stephy: Why wouldn't there be a price? I haven't seen my cousin, let alone any other human for a long time. Alison: Well I'm glad you came here. Me and the guys don't give up easily. We could help you no matter what it takes. Becky: Yeah, we won't let you go another day suffering. Marie: Yeah, we monsters have to stick together, especially with you not being as strong or fast as us, of course. Stephy: You two? Monsters? You're not monsters. You're heroes. Celebrities. Ridley Scott. The chimera, is a force of nature. It takes lives without mercy, and in cold blood, and I'm its prisoner. Jenny: Don't go. Stephy: Huh? I'm not going anywhere, why would I? Alison: You know how the cliche works. Randall: You open up to whomever sticks around for more than a few minutes. Phoebe: You feel they cannot help you and you run out. Jerry: "You can't change what is set in stone!" Georgina: Then a pretty piano ditty plays while you hitchhike. Stephy: If I get captured or die, I'd rather be in good company. Besides, I want to tell Jules I'm ok. Where is she by the way? Dante: I don't know how to tell you this but, Julie... got eaten by a monster. Stephy: Excuse me? Damien: What my idiot friend is trying to say is that she turned into a monster, and now she's fighting this other monster until one or the other dies. Stephy: Is that why there're giant footprints around the neighborhood? Alison: You might say that. Becky: We could always use a dead-meat to bring those masses to- (Stephy makes a monstrous face and Becky yelps while running behind the kids) Stephy: Ok, do any of you have good ideas for how we could get them back to normal? Colleen: Not particularly. Stephy: Ok, that's one of two hurdles? Sam: Two? Stephy: Yeah. Since this evening I became a farming fugitive. Chances are the cops are after me. Randall: Oh please, they'll never think to look here. (they hear pounding on the door) Cop: This is the police! We're sure the chimera is in there, and if it is it'll get us a hefty bonus! Alison: Unlike the big issue, I'm prepared for it. Sam, Becky, keep the cops busy. The rest of us will get Stephy out of here. (Marie and Stephy split up) Marie: Don't worry Stephy, I won't let anyone hurt you, especially given how woefully weak you are compared to- (Marie bumps her head on a low-hanging beam.) Stephy: My hero. (the cops break into the house.) Sam: I'm normally very welcome to surprise visitors, but I'd have to draw the line at breaking and entering. (they see Sam sitting on the ceiling. The cops back away and hear a howl.) Becky: WOLF ANGRY! AND HUNGRY! (the cops all run out. Sam and Becky go to find the others and discover them in the backyard.) Sam: That was surprisingly easy. Colleen: But bear in mind that we have a much greater challenge ahead of us. (they hear a crash up ahead) Alison: And it's closer than we think. (Marie and Becky charge to the source and find Julie and Emily fighting. Becky goes near them) Becky: Now y'all listen up, you may be big and slow in the mind right now, but if y'all don't listen y'all will-ACK! (Becky is grabbed by the neck by Julie) Julie: DOG GIRL TALK TO MUCH! Marie: Speak for yourself. (Marie punches Julie in the back of the head.) Marie: You talked long enough for me to land a hit. (Marie gets caught in a bearhug by Emily.) Emily: SSSSSURPRISE! (Marie struggles to get free, and Becky slashes at Emily's back. Emily lets go of Marie and grabs Becky.) Emily: SSSSAY YOUR PRAYERSSSS! MUTT! (Marie grabs Emily's tail and slams her on the floor. Marie leaps onto Emily.) Marie: You want some more? Emily: No, but SSSSSSHE DOESSSSS! (Julie slams a car onto Marie) Julie: BIG GIRL TOO SLOW! (Becky gets onto Julie's back and covers her eyes. Julie grabs Becky and also slams her on the ground.) Marie: Can we take a break? (Marie and Becky crawl to Stephy.) Marie: We're having a little trouble, and we could use an alternate right about now. Stephy: But what could I do? Becky: Not you, that other you. Stephy: I can't bring it out at will. It takes a loss of control. Becky: So anger? Stephy: Yeah, actually. Marie: Your khakis are too tight, your hairstyle is lame, your personality is- Stephy: That's not going to work. Marie: Well then, your cousin is in danger, she's putting the city in danger and there is nothing you could do about it. Stephy: I'm more insulted over how cliched that sounds. Marie: Man! What'll it take!? Er, you're ugly. Stephy: UGLY!? (Stephy transforms into the chimera) Marie: Great! Now see if you could stop those monsters- (Stephy punches Marie down.) Marie: I'll just be here lying down. (Stephy fights Emily and Julie, keeping the fight up for a while until Julie slams her, knocking her unconscious. Stephy returns to normal and Julie recognizes her. Julie goes onto her hands and knees and reverts to normal. Emily follows suit after recognizing Julie. Both collapse.) Alison: Mission accomplished! (they take the three girls to the basement where Sparky runs an experiment on them. They all wake up soon after.) Sparky: Hiya girls! You'll be delighted to know that your afflictions have been rectified! (Julie and Emily stretch and groan.) Julie: Ugh, what happened? Emily: Last I remember our skin was acting weird, we got angry and... Man, I should really keep track of these things. Brighton: The important thing is that you're all normal again. Stephy: And before you say it, I know I may still have my curse, but it's under control. So in essence, I'm normal too. Colleen: Interesting way of looking at it. Stephy: Now I- (Stephy stops as Julie hugs her while happily sobbing.) Julie: I thought you were dead. Stephy: It's a long story. I'll tell you it another time. Alison: You bet you will. Stephy: Hm? Alison: Welcome to the gang. You and Emily roll with us now. Emily: Excuse me? Alison: It's either this or going to prison. Emily: Oh no, I'd love to join you guys. It'll help me be better at owning up to my mistakes anyways. Stephy: I'm in too. Marie: Great. Just follow my lead and you could be like the strongest girl on the team. Stephy: Oh-ho is that a fact? Marie: It's totally a fact. Stephy: Like the fact that I totally beat you and Becky up? Even Julie and Emily did. Emily: She's got you there. Marie: Those are fighting words- Phoebe: I WANNA GO TO BED! (the gang get ready for bed) Randall: Great job everybody we got a lot done today. Now let's all head right to bed okay? We'll need our strength. (Randall hops right into bed and sleeps. Angela throws a pillow at him.) Angela: Oh please, what have you done today? Randall: Why you... Quit lumping me with those democrats! (Randall throws a pillow at Angela) Angela: Now you're annoying me... (Randall throws a pillow at Becky) Randall: I think wet nose wins the award for biggest whiner. Becky: You try keeping your head when your self-esteem is on the line. Stephy: Uh, you're in my bed. Damien: I know, I figured you could use some compan- (Randall throws a pillow at him.) Randall: And the award for biggest perv ten times running goes to Damien. Damien: Alright biz boy, I'll make you eat those words with a side of feathers. (everyone throws pillows at one another) Sam: Would it kill you to go one night without- (A pillow hits Sam in the face, she throws it back) Damien: It's go time! (Everyone fights one another. Stephy, Sam and Colleen sit back.) Stephy: Does this always happen? Colleen: Yeah, you'll get used to it. (Stephy looks at the fight. Sam looks at her and notices Stephy giving a warm smile.)